Or, Having a Silver Tongue Isn’t What You Think
‘ The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense. When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense. The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.’
Proverbs 10:11,13,19-21,31-32 https://www.bible.com/bible/59/PRO.10.11,13,19-21,31-32
Recently in our family life, the importance of our speech has come up a few times; I’m sure it does in most families. And just coincidentally (or was it?) as I was reading in Proverbs 10 today, I noticed that there were several verses that mentioned the lips or the mouth of the righteous, so I decided to take a closer look. There are two or three things that I took away from this.
First, sometimes it’s best just not to say anything at all (v. 19). You don’t have to say the first thing, or even the second or third, that comes to mind. For example, I grew up with family and friends who would constantly give each other a hard time. Over the years, though, I’ve come to realize that I don’t have to point out every time a friend screws up; they already know, and bringing it up only brings hurt, not healing.
Second, if we do choose to speak, we need to make sure we have a filter on (v. 32). In recent years, it’s become fashionable to pepper cusswords in everyday conversations (looking at you, Gary Vaynerchuk). However, especially if we don’t know who will hear what we say, it’s wise to censor ourselves and keep it PG. This is just one example, of course; the topics we choose to discuss are just as important. The second half of verse 32 says that the mouth of the wicked knows what is perverse, i.e., deviating from what is right, good, or proper. So yeah, what is acceptable might depend on who we’re talking to and the context, but we need to be aware of how we’re influencing those around us.
Finally, we should talk about things that are valuable to the people we’re talking to (vv. 11, 13, 20, 21, 31). This is important – these verses use the phrases, “fountain of life,” “wisdom,” “choice silver,” “feed many,” and again, “wisdom.” Our focus should be on discussing things that encourage and inspire, educate, and entertain (thanks Graham Cochrane). We should be known as people of wisdom and knowledge, as well as truth and love (Ephesians 4:15).
Here’s something to try this week: Write a note to refer back to each morning, reminding yourself to focus on letting your speech conform to the ideas above. And at the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on the day’s conversations, and decide if you lived up to these standards. I’m betting that we’ll see positive changes in our relationships and our lives if we really focus on this for even a week.
Grace and peace,
Russ